I can't make it work. This whole thing is an illusion and it's so hard to keep others out of this...wouldn't want them in even if it was easier. I have hurt people, and I have said stupid things. How many fucking times will I just shut down and shut you all out? I am sorry.
I still love you. That hasn't changed. I am feeling in trouble and the ever-tightening spiral of black, spiky sorrow rips into the soft, spongy gray of my brain. I watch things at work go by like pieces of time through cloudy glass, voices like a skipping record of children laughing...over and over.
The man poised on the tower swivels, slips, and regrets nothing...save the exact manner of his head splashing on the limestone below. He'd have rather landed feet first, in a comical expression of compression, though without the cartoon bounce in the opposite direction.
We fall so fast. We let subtlety clutter our spaces and corrupt our tongues. To be free from it; free from everything; that is heaven.
Monday, January 28, 2008
For People I Love
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1 comments:
Hey Big Brother, We love you too! Although I think I know who you wrote this for, I'm sure they feel the same way I do.
Being the forever optimist that I tend to be, it will get better.
I don't know the reason(not yet anyways), but no one person should have to carry the burden of what you have to deal with on a daily basis. But for some reason you're still around. Thank goodness.
Wouldn't it be nice if this were the midevil times and you knew you would be dead by 30 by either famine, war or disease? Now we have many many years to stress out about and make sure you don't fuck up too badly to derail the road ahead.
Your little brother
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